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Parenting Children

Child playing on the playground

Let your child play, help your child grow, and keep your child safe.

Get outside and practice skills like balance and climbing, while playing at the park!

More parenting tips from local famillies are available on our YouTube channel.

Let your child play | Practice makes perfect. (transcript)

Video description

Child playing in the park.

Text on screen

Let your child play

Man's voice

We come to the park to have enough space
to practice our balance and learn how to
climb. You having fun bud?

Text on screen

Let me play. Help me grow. Keep me safe. kflaph.ca/Parenting

Almost all parents find it difficult to balance safety and a child's need to move and explore. Children need freedom to play and move so they can learn and grow.

Let your child play

Two children biking with an adult Play, especially free play, is very important. Unstructured play teaches children decision-making, problem-solving, and self-confidence.

Give your child time to play every day. Engage your child's senses by bringing out the craft bin and letting them create a masterpiece. Bring them outside and let them explore, gather sticks, rocks, leaves, and anything else they can find. Rethink Rural has 13 unstructured playtime ideas that are great to get your child outside.
Understand risk taking. An important part of children's play involves risk taking. The curiosity and desire for new experiences presents opportunities to learn and develop. Developing physical literacy (movement skills such as running, jumping, throwing, etc.) allows children to move with competence and confidence.
Encourage safe risks. Encourage children to take safe risks by providing opportunities to participate in activities that are adventurous but safe, such as wearing a helmet when learning to ride a bike.

ParticipACTION explains the importance of outdoor play in their position statement on active outdoor play:

"Access to active play in nature and outdoors--with its risks--is essential for healthy child development. Increase children's opportunities for self-directed play outdoors in all settings--at home, at school, in child care, the community and nature."

Help your child grow

Children need routines, sleep, healthy food, and lots of time for physical activity for optimal growth. As a parent, you can:

Create daily routines. Routines help children feel their world is predictable and safe. Having a morning routine will help get the day off to a good start, and a bedtime routine will help children relax and fall asleep.
Ensure adequate sleep. Children aged 5 to 13 years need 9 to 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night. To promote adequate sleep, set regular bedtimes and keep bedtime routines consistent. Turn off all electronics (e.g., computers, televisions, tablets, and cellphones) at least one hour before bedtime and help your child wind down before bedtime by doing something relaxing together (e.g., read stories or listen to quiet music).
Offer healthy food choices. As a parent, you may wonder if your child is eating enough healthy food. Allow your child's appetite to be your guide. It is your job to decide when, where, and what to eat. Your child will decide how much to eat and whether they eat at all.
Make time for physical activity. Children aged 5 to 17 need an accumulation of at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity per day and several hours of light physical activities. Children should have no more than 2 hours of recreational screen time per day. Your child learns the most about being active from you. Make being active a family affair, limit your own screen time, and keep screens out of the bedroom.

Keep your child safe

Keeping your child safe is a top priority. It is vital to teach school aged children about safety, but active supervision is still important and will change as your child grows and develops.

Provide supervision as needed to prevent injury. Provide supervision, tools, and information to encourage safety. Talk to your child about road signs when walking to the park and demonstrate crossing streets safely. Provide protective equipment, such as helmets and reflective gear for bike riding.
Lead by example. Model sound decision making. Wear a bike helmet. Don't text and drive. Choose healthy food and be physically active as much as possible.
Discipline is a way of teaching your child about proper behaviours. Discipline should not be about punishing or controlling your child.

Resources

Active for Life
Outside Play
Canadian 24-hour Movement Guidelines - Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology
Unlock Food
Canada's Food Guide
Nutri-eSTEP
Parenting Resources - Strong Minds Strong kids
Tri-Board Student Transportation Services
Safe Kids Canada - Parachute
Active and Safe Routes to School - Ontario Active School Travel
Canada Safety Council
Health Canada
Sun Safety - KFL&A Public Health
Parenting in KFL&A Facebook page
Free Physical Literacy Kits - Kingston Gets Active

It's okay to take care of yourself. It's part of parenting.

You are a parent, and you are important. Sometimes parents think that they don't have time to take care of themselves, or that they don't matter as much as their children. Taking care of yourself makes you a better parent. You'll have more energy and patience. Children learn their lifestyle behaviours from their parents and caregivers, so you'll also be teaching them how to take care of themselves.

Taking care of yourself doesn't always mean taking time to be alone or away from your children. While some people find time away refreshing, it can be very difficult to arrange. Try making self care a part of your daily routine. This can be as simple as taking a walk on your break at work, making sure you get to bed on time, or taking 5 minutes in the morning to eat a healthy breakfast.

Reach out for support

You've probably heard the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child". This is true! It is okay to ask for help from family, friends, and your community.

Learn about parenting

Adults sitting in a learning session Parenting isn't always easy. It's a skill you learn.

Attend a workshop. You may hear a new idea that you haven't tried before.
Check your child's school newsletters and school website and visit school board websites regularly for parent opportunities and events in our community.
Visit our getting help section for links to organizations that support parents in our community, such as Family and Child Services of Frontenac, Lennox and Addington.

Take care of your physical well-being

Adult and two children playing basketball

This means eating well, getting enough sleep, and being active. While this isn't always easy to do, its important that as a parent, you:

Make healthy eating and physical activity a priority. Play basketball with the kids or go for a walk.
Have a set bedtime and stick to it. Routines are great for kids and their parents.

Take care of your mental well-being

Your Your child is affected by your mood and emotions, good and bad. While you cannot eliminate all stress from your life, it is important that you find ways to cope with stress. Talk to someone if you have concerns. If you aren't feeling yourself, talk to your doctor, your friends or family. If you need help now, visit Addiction and Mental Health Services, KFL&A

Talk to someone if you have concerns. If you aren't feeling yourself, talk to your doctor, your friends or family.
Take care of your relationships. Healthy relationships with friends and partners are important to your mental health. Check-in with friends when you can, and have open and honest communication with your partner.
Learn more about parent mental health.

Listen, respond, and connect with your child

Your child's relationship with you is key to their health, development, and well-being. Warm and responsive parenting builds a strong foundation for developing trust, confidence, self-control, and healthy relationships.

As children mature and spend more time away, parents may need to work harder to keep a strong connection.

Listen to your child

Two adults and two children sitting on a couch

Active listening lets your child know that you hear and care about what they say.

Be ready to listen to your child. Take time to listen when they are ready to talk.
Ask your child open questions. Questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no encourage more conversation.
Paraphrase your child. Repeat what they say to make sure you understand.
Watch their body language. Listen to their words, but also make note of their body language and actions. Tantrums, acting out, difficulty getting along with friends, or not wanting to go to school can all be signs that your child needs your attention.
Learn more about your child's speech and language.

Respond to your child

Set aside time to talk. It is one of the most important things you can do to build a healthy relationship with your child.

Show your child love. Physical contact like hugs and cuddles comfort your child and show your child that you enjoy their company.
Be ready to talk. Take time to talk when your child is ready to talk. If you are in the middle of something important, calmly tell your child that you are busy and that you will give them your full attention when you are finished.
Stay calm and supportive. Sometimes you might need to take a deep breath or count to 10 before responding.
Show interest. Be face-to-face and make eye contact to show you are interested in what your child is saying.

Connect with your child

Spending time with your children, listening to them and showing love and affection will help create strong connections.

Find opportunities to connect. If you lead a busy life, be aware of little opportunities to connect with your child such as during meals and car rides. Stick a post-it note in a lunch bag if your morning is rushed to let your child know you are thinking about them.
Be present. Limit distractions such as phones, tablets, and television, especially during meals and family time. Have family rules outlining when to use electronics.
Eat and cook together as often as you can. Make mealtimes screen free.
Have fun together. Do things you both enjoy like bike riding, fishing, or going for a walk.

Resources

Parenting Resources - Strong Minds Strong kids
Kids Tip Sheets - Strong Minds Strong Kids
Parent Further
Speech and Language Skills - What You Can Do Now - KFL&A Public Health

Help your child recognize and work through their emotions. All feelings matter.

All emotions are healthy and important--even anger, frustration, and sadness. As a parent, you can help your child learn to cope with strong emotions. When children can identify their feelings and work through their emotions, they will be better able to cope with life's ups and downs.

Help your child recognize their emotions

Children who can recognize, identify, and talk about emotions are less likely to reach the point where they act out their strong emotions with disruptive behaviours.

Talk about your own emotions. Label your feelings, for example, "I'm feeling frustrated because I can't find my keys".
Help your child identify how they are feeling. Ask them "Are you feeling angry about what happened at school today?"
Acknowledge that emotions are okay. Say "I know you are feeling sad that you didn't make the team. I would feel sad too. It's good to talk about these feelings."
Teach your child about the emotions of others. Talk about situations where others show emotions. Say, "Why do you think Jamie is crying?"

Help your child work through their emotions

Teach your child ways to cope with strong feelings in a positive way.

Make sure your child gets enough sleep and is offered enough healthy food choices. When a child is hungry or tired, it is hard for them to control their feelings.
Listen to your child. Give them your full attention and show that you are interested in how they are feeling by facing your child and making eye contact. For example, try saying "We all feel angry sometimes and it's good to talk about those feelings."
Be there for your child. Sometimes your child won't feel like talking about what is bothering them. Try to respect that, give them some space, but let them know you are there when they are ready to talk.
Teach them ways to cope with big emotions. Taking deep breaths, or slowly counting to five, for example, will help your child work through their feelings.
Guide them to solve problems on their own. Help them think of positive ways to solve a problem. Encourage your child to use their voice to navigate conflict. For example, "Use your words to tell Sam how you felt when you were excluded from the game."
Help them learn how their actions affect others. For example, "How do you think Jessie felt when you yelled at her for not pushing you on the swing?"
Offer your child choices. Allowing your child to make decisions will help build their confidence.
Provide outlets when emotions overpower. Offer activities to focus on, such as playing basketball or painting a picture.
Role model how to cope with emotions. Staying calm will teach your child how to respond to stressful situations.

Resources

Emotions - KFL&A Public Health
Parenting Resources - Strong Minds Strong Kids
Understand Ages and Stages - Parent Further

Parenting in KFL&A community videos

Community members submitted their own videos sharing tips on how to listen, respond, and connect with your child. View all of the videos on our agency's YouTube channel.