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Parenting During a Pandemic

Adult and child sitting on couch looking at a lap top

The COVID-19 pandemic has been stressful and has been an especially challenging time for parents. Parenting can be rewarding, but it can also be difficult, exhausting, and overwhelming at times.

Stress can make parenting hard. It is important to remember that no one can do it all and that is okay.

Taking care of your mental health

Parents may feel that they don’t have time to take care of themselves, or that their child’s wellbeing matters more. By taking care of yourself, you will have more energy and patience to take care of your child. You are also teaching your child the importance of looking after their own mental well-being.

Many people have found it hard to cope with the uncertainty, fear, and ongoing changes during the COVID-19 pandemic and as health measures ease. Parents and caregivers may have experienced more stress related to school, childcare, and how their child is coping. Some of the ways we manage stress have also changed, like meeting with friends or family in-person.

It is normal to experience a range of emotions and reactions, including:

Worry
Uncertainty
Anger
Sadness

It is important to be patient with yourself and use the following tips to take care of your mental well-being.

Take care of your physical health

Physical health is an important tool to maintain your mental well-being. Sleep, physical activity and time outdoors, can help you cope with stress.

Focus on what you can control

You may not be able to control the stressful situations created by living during a pandemic, but you may be able to take action to reduce some of that stress:

Take things at your own pace.
Ask family members to help with meal prep, household chores, or running errands.
Create a to-do list with small tasks.
Make small adjustments to routines for yourself and your family.
Take time in the morning to eat a healthy breakfast
Try to get 7 to 9 hours of good quality sleep on a regular basis. Turning off screens one hour before bed can help improve sleep.
Get help from local agencies in our community.

Learn to cope with uncomfortable feelings and thoughts

It is normal to experience a range of emotions and feelings in response to stress that is outside of your control. Finding ways to cope with these feelings and thoughts can help protect your mental health:

Share how you are feeling with your partner, friends, or family members.
Take a moment to practice mindfulness.
Be kind to yourself. Lower expectations for yourself and your family and celebrate everything you have been able to do and overcome.
Write a list of things you are grateful for.

Avoid unhelpful coping strategies

Some of the ways that people cope with stressful situations and uncomfortable feelings can hurt their physical or mental health. Replacing these with the other ways to cope can help reduce stress.

Try to limit or avoid:

Using substances (e.g., alcohol, tobacco, cannabis)
Ignoring stressful situations
Blaming yourself or others
Always thinking of possible worst-case scenarios
Ignoring your uncomfortable feelings

During stressful times you may feel more anxious or experience a change in eating patterns, difficulty sleeping or concentrating, or have a short temper with family members or those close to you. If these feelings and actions continue and affect how you live, it may be a sign of lower mental well-being. If these feelings or actions get worse, low mental well-being can turn into a mental illness, such as depression or anxiety.

Sometimes, help from a health care provider is needed. Getting help early can prevent things from getting worse. Remember, you are not alone, you are not to blame, and with help you will get better.

Supporting your child's mental health

Children do well when they have regular routines and their environment is predictable, safe, and structured. The pandemic and ongoing changes in health measures have been especially hard for children.

It is normal for children and youth to feel a wide range of emotions during stressful situations. Some children or youth may be annoyed easily, be quiet, complain about aches or pain, or seem depressed or anxious.

Children’s coping skills and ability to control their emotions are still developing. This can make them vulnerable to the mental health impacts of disasters such as the pandemic.

Talk to your child about what is causing them stress. This can help them understand that they are safe and that their feelings are normal. It’s also important to be patient and listen to their worries, understand their feelings, and help them manage their feelings.
- Try to give your full attention and make eye contact with your child to show that you are listening. Let them know that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling, and that sometimes you feel that way too. If they need help calming down you can try taking deep breaths together; inhaling, holding your breath, and exhaling for four seconds each.
Create a story together of how your family worked as a team to get through stressful times during the pandemic.
Take care of your own mental well-being. Children are sensitive to their care giver’s stress levels and emotions. Try lowering your stress levels and seek support when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Responding to children's behaviour

Children often express their feelings through their behaviour. When kids are feeling more scared or upset than usual, this can lead to more temper tantrums.

For tips on how to support positive behaviour and respond when children are upset, please visit our Understanding and Responding to Behaviour page.

Create a new routine with your child

It can be hard to maintain routines during the pandemic. Although routines can give children a sense of control and safety, it is okay to change or create new routines that work better for your family as we move through the pandemic. Creating a routine with your family can also help you and your child cope with big changes or stressful situations in the future.

When you create a new routine, be sure to include your child in the decisions too. Try these tips:

Make sure you and your child get enough sleep at night. Have a regular bedtime and wake-up time, create a routine to practice before bed (bath time, brushing teeth, reading in bed), and put away screen devices at least one hour before bed.
Set regular mealtimes. Eat together when you can and try to follow Canada’s Food Guide.
Be aware of how much time your family is spending in front of screens. Try to limit screen time and encourage other activities as well, like going for a family walk.
Read Canadian 24-hour Movement Guidelines to learn how much your family should exercise, sleep and sit each day. Come up with activities you can do together to be active as a family
Stay connected with family and friends.
Wash your hands frequently to prevent the spread of germs and to stay healthy.

Manage routines, mealtimes, and screen time

Maintaining routines at mealtime and screen time has been hard since the beginning of the pandemic. Financial concerns and rising food costs can make feeding your family even more stressful.

For tips on on feeding your family on a budget and reducing screen time in your home, visit our managing household routines, mealtimes, and screen time page.

Dealing with school-related stress

Every student is different. Some students may be eager for in-person school, while others may have difficulties getting back to in-person learning. Measures put in place to protect children while at school have changed familiar routines, which can also be a source of stress. As public health measures are lifted, some children may be worried about getting or spreading COVID-19 to family members.

It is important for students to know that their feelings during the pandemic are normal. The best way to support students through school-related stress is to listen to their fears and understand their feelings. Children’s Mental Health Ontario has prepared a Back-to-School Backpack to help families concerned about their student’s mental health and give them tips on how to best support them.

Isolating with children

Testing positive for COVID-19 or having to isolate can add stress and other strong emotions to your family’s lives. Please visit our self-isolation page for tips on how to cope when isolating.

When to seek help

School Mental Health Ontario has created a list of changes that may show a child needs support for their mental health:

Changes in behaviour or emotions that seem out of proportion (e.g., angry outbursts, depressed mood, sense of panic). These changes may last most of the day, every day or for a long period of time.
Your child or teen tells you they’re feeling sad or anxious.
Changes in behaviour seem to interfere with your child’s thoughts, feelings or daily routines (e.g., they may not participate in activities they normally enjoy, they cry more than usual, or they may not interact with you as much as they usually do).

If you notice these changes, you can talk to your child about their mental health. If your child expresses thoughts of hurting them self or engages in suicidal behavior, you should seek help immediately.

Resources

Maltby Centre - 613-546-8535 or 1-844-855-8340
Kids Help Phone – 1-800-668-6868 or by texting 686868
How to support your child's mental health during COVID-19 - School Mental Health Ontario
COVID-19 Youth Mental Health Resource Hub - jack.org
Family Care Centre - Children's Mental Health Ontario
About Kids Health COVID-19 Learning Hub, Sick Kids

Planning a pregnancy or preparing for a new baby during a pandemic

Having a baby is a big life change. A pandemic may also change some of the ways you experience your pregnancy and delivery or how you prepare for a new baby.

People planning a pregnancy or preparing for a new baby during the pandemic may be faced with:

ongoing changes to prenatal and hospital care,
extra worries about your health and the baby’s health,
fewer moments to meet other new parents, or,
the impact of physical distancing when getting help from family and friends.

Try these tips to cope with extra stress during the the pandemic

Focus on what you can control

Look into ways a support person could attend prenatal visits virtually or ask your healthcare provider about support people allowed during the labour and birth.

It may also help to learn about pregnancy, labour and delivery, and parenting beforehand. Everyone’s pregnancy and/or parenting journey is different. Learning ahead of time may help you feel more confident and prepared.

Parenting in KFL&A or call 613-549-1154
Online Prenatal Classes -KFL&A Public Health
Parenting your Newborn – KFL&A Public Health
Pregnancy and Health before Pregnancy- KFL&A Public Health
2SLGBTQI Family Planning -EGALE

Cope with uncomfortable feelings and thoughts

It is normal to experience a range of different emotions about how the pandemic has changed the experience of planning or preparing for a new baby. Look for ways to cope with uncomfortable feelings and thoughts that can help protect your mental health.

Share how you are feeling with a partner, friend, or family member.
Connect with other pregnant individuals or new parents through virtual groups or programs.

Avoid unhelpful coping strategies

Some of the ways that people cope with stressful situations and uncomfortable emotions can hurt their physical or mental health. For example, thinking of worst-case scenarios or being hard on yourself. Some unhelpful coping strategies can also hurt your baby’s development, such as vaping or using tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, and other substances.

Take care of your mental health

Some people may experience anxiety or depression during pregnancy or while preparing for a new baby. Learn more about these signs and symptoms as well as ways to support parent mental health.

Support and treatment can start during pregnancy. Talk to your health care provider and your loved ones about how you are feeling. You do not need to do this alone.

Financial assistance and community support

Prosper Canada offers a short survey to help you understand what financial supports you may qualify for.

The City of Kingston has created and continues to update a list of local support agencies, including emergency food or meal programs, childcare and EarlyON locations, and housing and social services options.

Resources

School and Child Care - KFL&A Public Health - Visit our school and child care page for COVID-19 related information for students and children attending day care, including screening tools and school protocols.
Parenting Getting Help - KFL&A Public Health
COVID-19 Vaccines - KFL&A Public Health - Visit our COVID-19 vaccines page for vaccine information, link to FAQs, and COVID-19 vaccine clinic locations and times.
COVID-19 Vaccine Consult Service - SickKids - A safe, judgement-free space to have an open conversation about the COVID-19 vaccine for children and youth.
Parenting during COVID-19 - Triple P: Positive Parenting Progress
COVID-19 resources for parents and children - Government of Canada
COVID-19: 24/7 Playful Parenting - The World Health Organization
Parenting in KFL&A - KFL&A Public Health - Talk to a registered nurse about your parenting questions on our Facebook page or by calling 613-549-1154 or 1-800-267-7875, ext. 1555.
Children and Parenting - Maltby Centre
Dad Central