What Parents Can Do About Teens and Substance Use
What parents can do
As a parent, you play a key role in shaping your teen’s attitudes regarding substances. Although it may not always seem like it, you affect the decisions your teen makes. Teens say their parents influence their decisions. Try to be open, supportive, and involved.
There are six key strategies you can use to help delay or prevent your teen’s use of substances:
- Be in the know.
- Communicate with your child.
- Set clear expectations.
- Be a positive role model.
- Be engaged.
- Know the law.
Be in the know
If teens are going to use substances, they tend to do it when adults are not around. Know who your teen is with, what they are doing, and where they are.
Try to avoid:
- Being overly strict; this can cause your teen to ignore the rules.
- Snooping through your teen’s room and belongings.
Try these tips:
- Agree on a curfew.
- Ask whether an adult will be home when your teen is going to a friend’s house.
- Have your teen check-in throughout the night.
- Know how your teen is getting home.
- Get to know your teen’s friends and their parents.
- Educate your teen on the responsible use of social media.
- Balance your teen’s need for privacy with monitoring and adjust as needed.
- Talk to your teen about what qualities to look for in a friend (e.g., honesty, kindness, and respect).
Communicate openly with
your child
Ongoing communication with your teen allows them to share their interests and areas of concern with you. Research suggests regular communication with your teen is linked to delayed substance use.
Try to avoid
- Being confrontational; take emotion out of the conversation.
- Interrupting; listen to what your teen has to say.
Try these tips:
- Talk early and often with your teen.
- Talk with your teen about substances; ask open ended questions and be aware of your body language and tone of voice.
- Emphasize short-term risks associated with substance misuse; these are of greater concern to youth.
- Discuss perceptions of substances; encourage your teen to talk about their thoughts on substances and let them know not all teens are using them.
- Talk about how substances are portrayed and often glamourized in the media (e.g., movies, television, and online).
- Explore ways to manage peer pressure.
- Share your expectations about substance use.
- Try to be understanding, even if you don’t understand or agree with your teen’s point of view.
Set clear expectations
Setting clear expectations helps create an environment where rules are respected.
Try these tips:
- Set rules around substance use before a teen is exposed to a situation potentially involving substances.
- Work together in the development of rules and consequences. Base rules and consequences on the age and maturity of your teen.
- Create a list of appropriate consequences with your teen (e.g., less screen time on a TV, tablet, or phone, no friends over for a specific amount of time).
- Ensure you and your teen have a clear understanding of what is expected.
- Remain calm when enforcing consequences, if rules are broken.
- Be consistent and follow through right away with consequences.
- Get help if your teen consistently breaks the rules. Seek support from a trusted friend, family member, counsellor, or family physician.
Be a positive role model
Teens are watching what you do as a parent and are influenced by your behaviours. Think about your own opinions on the use of substances and what messages they are sending your teen.
Try to avoid:
- Getting drunk or high in front of your teen.
- Using substances to cope with stress.
- Making statements after a stressful day such as, “I need a drink”.
Try these tips:
- Show your teen that you and others can have a good time without substances.
- When hosting a gathering, provide non-alcoholic drink options.
- Let your family and close friends know about the values you are teaching your teen and ask them to model responsible substance use.
- Model healthy stress management strategies such as, going for a walk after a busy day.
- Limit your use of alcohol and avoid illicit drugs.
Be engaged
A supportive parent-teen relationship characterized by closeness and caring can help delay when youth first try substances.
Try these tips:
- Support your teen to find their passions and interests.
- Be involved. Participate in activities that interest your teen.
- Make time for your teen. Spend quality one-on-one time together when possible.
- Remind your teen often that you love them. Praise them for making good choices and for their efforts and achievements.
- Encourage your teen to discuss problems and concerns with you.
Know the law
In Ontario, it is illegal to drink alcohol under the age of 19.
It is also illegal to possess prescription pain medications that are not prescribed for you. Once cannabis is legalized, there will be restrictions on its use and access, including age.
Try these tips:
- Establish consistent rules and messages about underage drinking of alcohol in your home, as well as use of other illegal substances.
- Discuss with your teen your responsibility as a parent to protect them from alcohol-related harm and to follow the law about alcohol and other substances.
- Share with your teen that parents are legally responsible for what goes on in the home, even if they don’t know about it, and even if they are not home.
- Inform your teen that people under 19 years of age can be charged for possessing, having used or attempting to buy alcohol.
- Inform your teen that once cannabis is legalized, there will be restrictions on its use and access, including age.
- Inform your teen that is illegal to possess prescription pain medication that is not prescribed for him or her.
- Keep your medications in a locked cupboard and return any expired medications to a pharmacy for safe disposal.