Babies and toddlers

How to comfort your crying baby

Comforting your baby when they are sick, hurt, sad, scared, lonely, or upset teaches your baby that you will be there when they need you. This is important for their development and helps them feel safe. Learning about your baby’s cues will help you respond to your baby.

Crying is a normal behaviour. Try these tips to comfort your baby when they cry:

• Pick them up and speak to them softly.
• Feed them.
• Check their diaper.

If these needs are met and your baby is still crying, try:

• Holding your baby in a different way.
• Rocking your baby or using a gentle movement.
• Snuggling your baby skin-to-skin.
• Going for a walk with your baby.
• Moving to a quiet, dark room.

There may be times when you can't settle your baby's crying. This is a normal experience and happens to all parents, and it can be frustrating.

• Try taking a few deep breaths.
• Tell yourself “it will be okay.”
• Ask for help from a neighbour, friend, partner, or family member.
• If you are feeling frustrated, put your baby safely and calmly into the crib. It is not harmful to leave your baby crying in a safe place for a short time until you are calm.

Never shake your baby. Shaken Baby Syndrome can cause brain damage, disabilities, or death. If you think your baby has been shaken, call 9-1-1 or go to the emergency room.

Routines

Routines help children know what to expect and help them feel safe, especially when they are included in some of the decision-making. When your baby is first born, your routine will be based on their needs, and it will be flexible and change often. As your baby grows, you’ll slowly be able to start building routines around naptime, bedtime and playtime and eating time.

Routines for toddlers include: 

• Having regular wake-up and bedtimes.
• Eating together when you can.
• Planning some quality time with your child each day, such as a family walk.
• Sitting down and sharing something fun you each did during the day.

Bedtime routines can help children sleep better, including: 

• Turning off screens an hour before bedtime. 
• Brushing their teeth or taking a shower or bath.
• Reading a book, calmly singing to them, or quietly chatting with them. 
• Turning the lights low and lie close to your child. 

Feeding your baby or toddler

Learn about feeding your baby and get the support you need. At around six months of age your baby may be ready to start solid foods. 

Playing with your baby or toddler

Playing with your child helps their brain and body grow and thrive.

• Repeat your baby's sounds when playing with them. This helps them develop speech and language.Try copying the faces your baby makes too.
• Let your child lead when playing. Wait to see what your toddler does next, then react. 
• Have fun with your child. Get on the floor and be silly. Make funny sounds and laugh together.
• Move with your baby. For healthy growth and development babies one year of age or under should be active several times daily, and toddlers should move for 180 minutes daily.
• Limit long periods of sitting or being in strollers, swings, or car seats. Too much sedentary time (sitting) affects healthy growth and development.
• Avoid screens. Screen time is not recommended for children under two years of age.

Baby care videos

Parenting in Ottawa offers a video series covering topics like bathing, changing diapers, and newborn baby behaviours. 

Building nurturing relationships

Help your child learn about their emotions

Create a routine. Routines help to make a child feel secure, and get enough sleep. When your child is hungry or tired, it is hard for them to control their feelings.   

• Provide choices. Whenever possible, give your toddler options. For example, "Would you like the red cup or the blue cup?"
• Name your child's emotions. For example, "It looks like you are frustrated with that toy."
• Give your child the words or signs to ask for what they want or need.
• Let them know that feeling their emotions is okay. For example, "I know it can be sad when your milk spills. I'd be sad too."
• Teach your child about other people’s emotions. Read stories and showing pictures of people with different expressions. 
• Show them how you cope with emotions. Staying calm and positive teaches your child how to respond to emotions.
• Teach your child ways to cope with strong emotions. Taking deep breaths or slowly count to five.
• Hug your child. Let them know you are there for them when they need you. With babies and toddlers, sometimes a cuddle and attention from you can sooth strong emotions.

Help your child through meltdowns and strong emotions

When a child is upset or acting out, they are usually feeling overwhelmed and having trouble controlling their bodies and emotions. Children are more likely to have overwhelming feelings when they are tired, hungry, or out-of-routine. Instead of trying to correct the behaviour, focus on listening and connecting with your child. 

When your child is upset, try to:

1. Be calm. 
2. Listen to your child. 
3. Help them find the words for how they are feeling. 
4. Let them know you are there to help.

Sometimes children will have strong emotions, and that's okay. Be calm; this is normal and will pass.

Work through your child's challenging behaviours

Children may act out when they feel scared, bored, tired, hungry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Discipline is not about punishment. Discipline is about guiding children on appropriate ways to behave.

• Do not spank your child. Spanking can teach children that hitting is okay and cause them to distrust their parents.  
• Give yourself 10 seconds to calm down and slowly breathe before responding. It’s normal to feel frustrated. Role model staying calm in tough situations. 
• Try to catch unwanted behaviour and redirect your child early. Suggest a different activity.
• Say what you want instead of what you don’t want. Instead of “stop shouting” say “please speak quietly”. 
• Use a consequence that relates to the behaviour (e.g., if they have made a mess in a room, have them help to clean it up.) Consequences are not about punishment, but about helping your child learn from the situation and take responsibility for their actions.

You can support your child's emotions and still have boundaries. This might look like: "I can see you are mad that your turn is over, and it's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to hit. Let's try taking a deep breath together". 

Alcohol, cannabis, or drug substance use can affect parenting

As a parent, you’re trying to do the best you can for your child. But your alcohol, cannabis or other drug use can impact your child as well as yourself.

Don’t use alcohol, cannabis products or other drugs in front of your child, or when caring for your child.

When you’re affected by alcohol, cannabis or other drugs, you might not be able to do things like:

• Supervise your child and keep them safe.
• Complete daily tasks, like making meals.
• React or drive in the event of an emergency.

Alcohol, cannabis or other drug use can impact your physical and mental health. This might make it hard for you to see your children’s emotional needs or be available when your child needs support or comfort.

Children who see their parents under the influence of alcohol and other drug use are more likely to:

• Experience stress.
• Develop social, emotional and behavioural problems.
• Start smoking tobacco.
• Have their own alcohol, cannabis or other drug problems in the future.

Make your space safe

Babies and toddlers can't always tell what is safe or not, so they need extra care and protection. To keep them safe and avoid injuries, parents must watch them closely and make sure their surroundings are safe.

Babies and toddlers need continuous supervision.

• Make your space safe. Consider what your baby or toddler can reach and any possible hazards. Secure furniture to the walls so they cannot tip.
• Use distraction by offering a different activity. For example, if your child is playing with the remote control, put it up high, and give your child some blocks instead. Your child might be upset for a moment, but will enjoy playing with you even more.  

Falls are the leading cause of babies and toddler hospital visits.

To prevent falls, remember to always keep one hand on your baby when they are on raised surfaces and never place a baby in a car seat on a table or couch.

Use safety gates at the top and bottom of stairs. Gates at the top of stairs should be anchored into the wall or banister. Do not use pressure gates at the top of stairs.

Car seat safety

Safe sleep

There are safe sleep guidelines that lower the risk of your baby dying or getting hurt while sleeping. Everyone who cares for your baby should be aware of these guidelines and follow them each time your baby goes to sleep. Learn more about your baby's sleep. 

Health Canada also has information about the safety of child sleep products.

Tracking developmental milestones

The LookseeChecklist is a free tool you can use to track your child’s development from one month to six years of age. The checklist provides activities that you can do with your child to support their development.
Starting October 2023 there will be a fee to sign up for the Looksee Checklist. If you have questions about your child’s development or need help to access the checklist due to the fee, call the Parenting in KFL&A Phoneline at 613-549-1154 and a registered nurse can help. 

Children’s vision

The Ontario Association of Optometrists recommends all children have their first eye exam at six months of age, three years of age, and every year after that. 

Eye exams with an eye doctor (optometrist) are free for children 19 years of age and younger who have an Ontario health card.

Visit Canadian Association of Optometrists for information on eye health and exams for babies, toddlers, and school aged children.

If you need help finding an eye doctor visit the Ontario Association of Optometrists. If you need help paying for your child’s visit view the vision information on the school-aged children page.

Ontario’s Blind – Low Vision Early Intervention Program, provided by KidsInclusive, is designed to give children who are blind or with low vision the best possible start in life by providing education and support for parents. 

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