School aged children

Children wearing backpacks outside jumping into the air

The school years can be both exciting and challenging for parents, children and teens. You may have questions about the health and well-being of your child.

Growth and development

It is important for young people to build knowledge and skills related to healthy relationships, including but not limited to friendships and dating relationships. Building knowledge and skills supports a young person to gain confidence with navigating different types of relationships and better prepares them to be healthy and safe now and in the future.

Supporting school aged children when they are upset

When a child is upset or acting out, they are usually feeling overwhelmed and having trouble controlling their bodies. Children are more likely to have overwhelming feelings when they are tired, hungry, or out-of-routine. Instead of trying to correct the behaviour, focus on listening and connecting with your child. Sometimes children have strong emotions, and that's okay. Be calm; this is normal and will pass.

When your child is upset:

Be calm.
Listen to them.
Help them find the words for how they are feeling.
Let them know you are there to help.

Teens can be emotional, have mood swings, and have strong responses to issues or events. Help your teen cope with strong emotions in a positive way.

Talk about your own personal experiences. Discuss stressful times from your teenage years, and how you managed your emotions. Talk about what you might have done differently.
Help your teenager look at the situation in a new way. Consider the other person's point of view or think positively about the situation, ask "How can we learn from this?"
Give options for how to deal with strong emotions. Offer activities to focus on, like exercise or self-expression through art.
Show by example how you cope with your emotions. Staying calm and positive will teach your teenager how to respond to stressful situations.
Let your teen know that there are other people they can talk to like teachers, guidance counsellors, or other trusted adults.

Routines are important for children and youth

Routines can help children know what to expect and help them feel safe, especially when they are included in some of the decision-making. Routines like:

Having regular wake-up and bedtimes.
Eating together when you can.
Planning some quality time with your child each day, such as a family walk.
Sitting down and sharing something fun you each did during the day.

When children become teenagers, they go through a lot of big changes. Routines can help your teen to feel safe and supported. They can also help teens plan their time more effectively so they can manage their time studying or socializing with friends.

Managing screen time

While there are some benefits to screens and social media, research suggests that child and youth mental health can be impacted by how they use it. Using screens and social media too much can have negative effects on mental health and well-being including: 

increased feelings of anxiety and depression 
decreased attention span and social connectedness 
lower self-reported happiness and self-esteem 
sleep difficulties

When children and youth are on their devices it can get in the way of opportunities for learning, spending time with family and friends, playing, and being outdoors.

Tips to help manage screen time

Be a role model – limit your screen time and spend time interacting with your children.
Turn off all devices during mealtimes.
Turn off all screens at least one hour before bedtime. Keep bedrooms screen-free.
Develop household rules around screens. Examples of this could be screen free zones like the kitchen.
Plan activities ahead of time, so that screen time doesn't become the go to activity.

View tips on limiting screentime from the Canadian Paediatric Society for young children or school-aged children and teens.

What to do when your child is upset or acting out

Children express their feelings through their behaviour, and may act out when they feel scared, bored, tired, hungry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Discipline is not about punishment. Discipline is about helping children and teens understand an appropriate way to behave.

Do not spank your child. Spanking can teach children that hitting is okay and cause them to distrust their parents.
Give yourself 10 seconds to calm down and slowly breathe before responding. It’s normal to feel frustrated with your children. Role model staying calm in tough situations.

Try to catch unwanted behaviour and redirect your child early. Suggest a different activity.
Say what you want instead of what you don’t want. Instead of “stop shouting” say “please speak quietly”.
Use a consequence that relates to the behaviour (e.g., if they have made a mess in a room, have them help to clean it up.) Consequences are not about punishment, but about helping your child learn from and take responsibility for their actions.

You can support your child's emotions and still have boundaries. This might look like: "I can see you are mad that your turn is over, and it's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to hit. Let's try taking a deep breath together".

Building strong connections with your child/teen in the early years will help foster open communications especially when they become teenagers.

Setting limits and boundaries help them learn:

Independence
Problem-solving
Responsibility and consequences for their behaviour

Here are some tips for setting clear limits:

Involve your child/teen in working out limits and rules.
Be clear about the behaviour you expect.
Discuss responsibilities with your child/teen.
Agree in advance with your child/teen on what the consequences will be if they don't stick to the rules you've agreed on.

Positive Discipline for Young children - Caring for Kids
How to talk with your teen - Caring for Kids

Physical activity, sedentary behaviour and sleep

Canadian 24-Hour Movement Guidelines

For optimal health benefits for children and youth between the ages of five to 17 years of age, physical activity levels should be high, and sedentary behaviour levels should be low, with sufficient sleep each day. Visit our physical activity for school aged children page for more information.

Alcohol, cannabis, or other drug use can affect parenting

As a parent, you’re trying to do the best you can for your child. But your alcohol, cannabis or other drug use can impact your child as well as yourself.

Don’t use alcohol, cannabis products or other drugs in front of your child, or when caring for your child.

When you’re affected by alcohol, cannabis or other drugs, you might not be able to do things like:

Supervise your child and keep them safe.
Complete daily tasks, like making meals.
React or drive in the event of an emergency.

Alcohol, cannabis or other drug use can impact your physical and mental health. This might make it hard for you to see your children’s emotional needs or be available when your child needs support or comfort.

Children who see their parents under the influence of alcohol and other drug use are more likely to:

Experience stress.
Develop social, emotional and behavioural problems.
Start smoking tobacco.
Have their own alcohol, cannabis or other drug problems in the future.

Mental health

Understanding what mental health is, can help you talk to your child about their mental wellbeing. Think of mental health as a range with one end being good mental health and the other end being poor mental health. We all move across this range at various times in our lives and we can all experience poor mental health at times in our life. Just like physical health, it is important we take care of our mental health. Learn more on how to support the mental health and well-being of your child or youth.

Bullying and violence

Bullying can take many forms, including physical, verbal, and cyber/electronic bullying. Bullying can cause immediate and/or long-lasting harm to a child’s emotional, social, physical and mental well-being.

For more information on signs of bullying, how to prevent bullying, and how to support your child if they are experiencing or enacting bullying behaviours, visit:

Substance use

Parents play a key role in shaping their child’s attitudes regarding substances. What you say and how it is said has an impact on your child’s thinking, decision making, risk taking and choices. Talking with your child about substances occurs over several ongoing conversations

For helpful resources to support children and youth regarding substances including alcohol, cannabis, vaping and tobacco visit:

Sexual health

Sexual health is an important part of your overall health and well-being. Visit Teaching Sexual Health or Sex Positive Parenting for information and resources on how to talk about sexual health with your child or youth. KFL&A Public Health provides information about contraception, sexually transmitted and blood-borne infections and can help direct you to information on safe sex practices.

We provide a caring, non-judgmental experience over the phone and in person at our quick test clinics.

Parents and caregivers can help children take care of their sexual health by teaching that bodies, relationships, and sexuality is natural, normal, and healthy. This can be done in age and developmentally appropriate ways. Build a healthy, open relationship with your child so they feel safe to ask questions and discuss concerns.

Infections and infectious disease

To reduce the spread of infectious illnesses within schools, students and guardians should:

Complete the self-assessment tool and follow the directions provided if experiencing symptoms of illness, or if they have tested positive for COVID-19.
Follow current health and safety recommendations to prevent the spread of respiratory illnesses.

For information on infectious illnesses and your child, visit our chart on when your child should stay home and Caring for Kids' common infections and your child.

Injury prevention and safety

Most injuries that occur in young children are avoidable and happen in the home where they spend most of their time. Young children are curious and like to explore their environment but they are unable to identify hazards on their own. View our injury prevention and safety page for more information on how to prevent common at home injuries.

Immunizations and vaccines

Children need vaccines to stay healthy. You can get your child vaccinated by your healthcare provider or at the one of our clinics. Don't forget to report vaccinations to KFL&A Public Health if your child gets vaccinated by a health care provider. View our immunization schedule by age for more information.

Vision

As many as one in four children has a vision problem serious enough to impact their learning and development, including language delays. Regular eye exams can identify health problems and conditions such as a turned eye or lazy eye. These conditions may be treated if they are found early in a child's life.

Take your child for a free eye exam

Yearly eye exams with an eye doctor (optometrist) are free for children (zero to 19 years of age) with an Ontario health card.

The Ontario Association of Optometrists recommends that school age children have an eye exam every year.

Find an optometrist

The Canadian Association of Optometrists provides more information about eye health and eye exams for children and adults.

Does your child need glasses?

Find help to pay for glasses

Free glasses for kindergarten: Eye See...Eye Learn

The Eye See…Eye Learn program gives free glasses to kindergarten students after an eye exam with a participating optometrist. Check with your eye doctor before your appointment to see if they participate in this program. Learn more about Eye See Eye Learn.

This program ends June 30, 2024

City of Kingston Low Income Health Benefits

The City of Kingston offers low-income families extended health benefits for vision care, glasses or contact lenses, prescription medications, and adult dental care. Learn more about Low Income Health Benefits.

Ontario Disability Support Program

If you are receiving income support from the Ontario Disability Support Program, you may be able to receive assistance with the cost of prescription glasses through the Vision Care benefit. Learn more about the Vision Care benefit.

Ontario Works

If you are an Ontario Works client, your family may be eligible for certain health-related benefits: Ontario Works Health Benefits. Contact your local Ontario Works office to find out what is available to you.

Head lice

Anyone can get lice, but it’s more common in children because they are often in close contact playing together. Having head lice doesn’t mean that your child is not clean. Head lice are tiny insects that live on the scalp and can cause itching. They do not spread disease and therefore are not a public health concern. There is no medical reason for your child to be excluded from school or childcare for having head lice. For tips on what to do if your child has head lice visit the Canadian Paediatric Society website.